Cranky open letters

June 28, 2008 at 11:59 am (my life, Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

Dear people,

You don’t have to say “I think that’s great, I love when couples do that” when you realize that I am engaged and yet ringless. I know it’s great. You don’t need to gloss over the fact that you just asked to see the rock on my finger. It’s cool. I understand how these things usually work.

Poor and in love,

Gynomite

Dear women,

The pill does not make you crazy. It’s like when people do stupid/violent/slutty things when they get drunk and then blame it on the alcohol. These substances do not change your personality, they just give you permission to behave how you want to behave.  If you’re moody, own it.

Hormonally yours,

Gynomite

Dear gay men,

Thanks to you and your cameras, I cannot find the original “no wire hangers…… EVER!” scene from Mommie Dearest on You Tube.  I mean really, how many versions of this scene can you watch with a spindly gay man as Joan Crawford and a hefty eager-to-please girl as Christina?  Can you stop?  Please?

You put a $300 dress on a wire hanger?

Gynomite

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