So Jay-Z performed at the Glastonbury Festival in London over the weekend, and the hand-cranked stodgy British Internet was abuzz with blaming Jay-Z for slow ticket sales at the traditionally rock-infested festival. Noel Gallagher from Oasis reanimated himself and his unibrow to chime in that having Jay-Z there was “wrong”, and that a band like Radiohead would have been better. So what did Jay-Z do?
He opened his set with Wonderwall.
So badass. It turns out that the festival did completely sell out and had a much younger audience for the first time in years. The stodgy and dorky organizer of the festival released a statement after Jay-Z’s mind-blowing set saying “That was a real triumph to bring hip-hop from the streets of New York to Glastonbury”. He then opened his umbrella, put on his monocle, and ate blood pudding as he flew off into the British sunset.