Re-recording your song, or letting someone else re-record your song to be used in a commercial!!! Check it!
Exhibit A: The JC Penny commercial I saw last night at the movies that remakes the entire Breakfast Club movie. That is a bad pop-punk version of Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me, and yes, that is a hot pink Nirvana shirt that the “basketcase” is wearing. You can get that shirt at JC Penny.
Exhibit B: The British IT commercial that uses actual fucking Gremlins, and started rumors that they were making another Gremlins movie when the puppets were spotted in a studio. Sheesh.
Because I’ve had a pretty rotten day so far, I decided to pull out one of my favorite videos out of the pile. I remember very clearly seeing this video for the first time on 120 Minutes one Sunday night, and I remember not being able to get it out of my head. I remember buying the CD, and the rest is history. Ladies and gentlemen, Cut Your Hair by Pavement.
I just saw Steven Malkmus last weekend in Coney Island, and while he’s a bit older, he’s still damned amazing live. Happy Friday everyone.
So we saw X FIles 2 at midnight last night in Brooklyn. Highlight if you want my spoilage-laced opinion. The movie was pretty good. I really liked the storyline about black market medical research and all the grossness involved, and though aliens were never mentioned (they were just like “go see the new Indiana Jones!!”) it felt fairly arc-y, in that it brought up all of Fox’s demons of what he’s really chasing and Scully’s complete refusal to believe. It also had some clunky dialogue and terrible directing, and I felt like they pushed some of the themes a little too hard. Also, I wanted to SEE Mulder and Scully fall in love, not just peek in on them after years of blissful cohabitation! However, Skinner did show up, thank fucking god. Ok, with that out of the way, I’d rather talk about our experience watching it rather than the movie itself. We brought our action figures, and Kumail the atmosphere was one of communal anticipation and joy. It was us and about 20 women there who could be described as lesbians, library science majors, or more globally, dorks. They were awesome.
For example, Kumail, in his exuberance, accidentally kicked the back of one woman’s seat, and she turned around very seriously and said “hey, could you not kick my seat? i get motion sickness very easily, and if you kick my seat more, i might start feeling sick.” She then proceeded to be very dramatically surprised at every loud noise in the movie. Like, a door closed in the movie and she would jump and yell. The girls behind us were all in funky glasses and anytime something referential would come up, they would go “Ohhhh look, sunflower seeds! Mulder loves those!!” Their excitement was infectious, and we all watched the movie happily.
Until………the bullies arrived.
I shit you not, at the height of the scene where Mulder finds a… big bad thing and is trying to infiltrate it and violence happens, four young men walked into the theater shouting and rhyming nonsense words. Like, at the top of their lungs. We all just kind of stared at them for a minute, and then someone boldly yelled “shut up and get out of here” which infuriated them. They were apparently there to pester a friend of theirs that was watching the movie, I think, or maybe they were just bored hoodlums in hoodlum school and trying to get some extra credit. It was old school harassment. They started yelling things like “suck my dick!” and “come over here and tell me to shut up”, and the dork girls, emboldened at being ensconced with their own people, yelled “There are more of us than there are of you, so get out!!!”
It was fairly similar to the ending of every Revenge of the Nerds movie.
No one made a move for the door to complain, as it was being blocked by the aforementioned hoodlums, but you could tell it was some kind of magical catharsis for the dork girls, who kept yelling things like “We’re taller than you, get out!” and “Leave us alone!”. The guys kept screaming things and were getting more and more escalated, and there was a definite moment where the mood in the room shifted from emboldened to scared. Everyone shut up and tried to watch the screen where their hero, Mulder, was struggling valiantly against his own bullies. Eventually the bullies retreated, cursing and yelling their way out of the theater, taking a good 10 minutes of the movie and all the magic in the room with them. We finished the movie in sullen silence, the slow realization blooming that the more things change, the more they stay the same. Time travel is real, and it apparently can bring from your past Mulder, Scully, and the pain of public insults.
Kumail told me this a while ago, and I thought it was hilarious. Whereas we grew up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he grew up with Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles, because over in Pakistan they had European versions of cartoons, and the Europeans were none too happy with the violence associated with, you know, ninjas.
So everything related to the Turtles had to be renamed before being released over there- comic books, video games, toys, etc. The lyrics were also changed, such as changing “Splinter taught them to be ninja teens” to the “Splinter taught them to be fighting teens.” They also took Michaelangelo’s nunchuks away, and replaced them with a turtle shell shaped grappling hook called the “Turtle Line”.
Check out the German opening credits to Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles!
In honor of this evening, in which I will be journeying to the movies at midnight in order to see X Files 2: I Want to Believe, I bring you these tidbits of the Onion AV Club interview with Gillian Anderson:
Just to weird up your day, the very odd Devendra Banhart’s new video for Carmensita, featuring his girlfriend Natalie Portman. Also, it’s a Bollywood-style video.
Part two of an endless-part series about things you can wear that say too much about you:
- a yoga mat strapped to you
- mirrored sunglasses w/skull holograms in them, especially if it’s dark out
- wacky shoelaces
- a neck tattoo (thanks Paul Lanier!)
Paramount is going to start financing and producing their own video games, says Variety, and what’s high up on their lists? Laaaaaaadies!