An Open Letter to Tom Munroe, Madonna photographer

August 25, 2008 at 7:26 am (pop culture, Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Listen, you seem like a really good photographer.  I know you’ve shot Madonna for Elle Magazine, and those pictures were gorgeous.  Excellent lighting, nice positioning, etc and so on.  And I know Madonna can be a bit of a bear to work with… I mean, not from personal experience as I’ve never been within a mile of her, but I’ve grown up with the woman, and adore her like people adore their favorite dish that mom makes- comforting in its tastiness and predictability, and every once in a while,  it makes a really good pop song.

So listen Tom, about those shots of Madonna for her new “Sweet and Sticky” tour.  How do I say this?  50 does not equal butterface. It just doesn’t.  We all know that Madonna’s body is ridiculously toned and amazing for any age, but her face is still gorgeous too.  It’s a 50 year old face, ok, but jesus, did you have to go out of your way to cover it up?  And was Madonna ok with this?  I can’t imagine her being like “these are great Tom, but could you make it so that just my abs and crotch show?”  That being said, I can’t really imagine you being like “Madge, these are some great shots, I’m loving this, can you please …

.....whip your hair in your face a bit more?

.....whip your hair in your face a bit more?

...yeah yeah, great, look in the mirror!  Arms up, Madge!  Keep that side face hidden!

...yeah yeah, great, look in the mirror! Arms up, Madge! Keep that side face hidden!

....no seriously, thisll look great, just put your dukes up!  Higher!

....no seriously, this'll look great, just put your dukes up! Higher!

....now throw your head back, you wily boxer!!  You are perfect!

....now throw your head back, you wily boxer!! You are perfect!

...what?  You want another face shot?  Ok, well, we have the bangs on, so thatll help.  Ok, yeah, thisll be a closeup of juuuuust your face, I swear!

...what? You want another face shot? Ok, well, we have the bangs on, so that'll help. Ok, yeah, this'll be a closeup of juuuuust your face, I swear!

Tom, this is Madonna Louise Ciccone we’re talking about.  People know what her face looks like.  And they love it.  So FUCKING SHOW IT, and forget those ridiculous fake bangs.

Love always,

Gynomite

PS- Thanks to Perez for these shots!

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