The following are things written in my notebook that I keep with me at all times, written verbatim.
- It’s sexy to act like you’re surprised your clothes are coming off.
- It’s really fun to whistle “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?”
- Child Emily asked her sister “What’s an air conditioner?” and child sister Molly replied “…….an air conditioner………is an air conditioner!” Child Emily replied “oh!” That’s cute.
- What’s dorkier- a movie themed wedding or a video game themed wedding?
- All the people with Edward Gorey tattoos and all the people with Nightmare Before Christmas tattoos should meet up in a stadium and then fight it out to the death.
- Living in a spaceship would be awesome. Talk about that.
- This man is wearing a hat that says “child support” and a bag that says “ground zero”. This is a man whose accessories are nouns.
- I’m the type of girl that would follow a bird if I thought it wanted me to.