Set it to Soul Patch and get ready to give up your soul.
I saw this commercial on The Soup and it fascinated me so much that I had to repost it. I give you The Goatee Saver, the facial hair shaper preferred by the majority of serial killers who like to play with your blood and choke themselves for fun.
The girl in the commercial knows that her demise is coming soon. You can see it in her dead eyes.
Really? You’ve always liked Iggy Pop?
You remember how in the early 90s girls who previously only wore cute sundresses and preppy sweaters with chinos just showed up suddenly one day in plaid shirts and heavy lipstick and mary janes and barettes in their hair? And how if you asked them about their new looks (as I did), they would tell you some bullshit about how they’ve always wanted to dress that way, or that this is just what they like to wear, and you would just walk away fuming, just wishing that they would acknowledge the fact that they’re trying to really abruptly fit in to a style that was clearly not comfortable for them?
That’s how I feel when I look at the Republican Party.
The RNC elects its first African-American leader
And as much as I want to believe in progress and the capacity for change, I also want to run up to the RNC and smack the desperate efforts to stay relevant off of their faces.
Best of luck Michael Steele.
Roomba kittens
I just saw this video this morning on Cute Overload, but it’s already made the rounds of my usual sites, and I, like them, must show it to you.
Six adorable kittens start off in a sleepy heap on a Roomba, and at the end of the minute-long video, NONE remain. The carnage is adorable.
Gynomite’s Emotional Assignment of the Day
Put it down.
That baggage? Put it the fuck down. Or at least start looking at it a little more closely.
Trends in Irony.
A few months ago I made a post about Snuggie, the monastic-looking blanket that you wear, also more cleverly called Slanket on occasion. The commercial was nice and weird and overly enthusiastic.
Then I noticed that a lot of people were searching for the term “snuggie” to get to my blog, and since it was close to the holidays, I thought that maybe Snuggies had replaced Chia Pets as the new ironic gift.
I had no idea how big it had become.
Two fantastically bad tattoos
Courtesy of Josh, purveyor of all things overly weird.
Um, I wanna get something that kinda looks like the Fonz, right? And I want him to be like, standing in the middle of a thunderstorm, ok? But, like, I want the Fonz himself to be a hotdog instead of the Fonz, because how fucked up would that be? So he’s like wearing the leather jacket and you’re like ‘ok ok, I get it, it’s the Fonz, whoooooa- what?!?!’ Also he should be holding some mustard, and I want some flowers and shit around the whole thing, and I want a banner that says ‘Guilty of Being Delicious’. You got all that?
I really like that Goo Goo Dolls song from that movie about that angel that’s actually Nicholas Cage. So, I wanna get a line from that tattooed on me, probably the one about bleeding and being alive and shit. I want it around my midsection so I can go ahead and show that off. And can you do it in cursive writing, but make blood dripping out of it, like that shit from that Harry Potter movie? Hurry up, don’t bother with the grammar checking! Get to it!
Hot Oscar Gossip!!
Did you know that Peter Sellers was shut out of winning the Best Actor Oscar in 1980 because of this clip?
Shown over the closing credits, this outtake of Sellers breaking character reportedly turned off the Academy enough to shut him out. Showing outtakes was extremely rare back then, and Sellers himself was pissed about it, as he had worked so hard to have people forget he was a comic actor.
What, were you expecting some regurgitated tidbit about The Dark Knight?
My favorite Cindy Crawford moments
I love Cindy Crawford. Always have. She’s completely gorgeous and represents a very specific time in pop culture history. Cindy Crawford’s era was around the time that beauty mags started recommending that if you had a big zit on your face, just to color it with a brown eyebrow pencil and pretend it’s a mole!
You know what that looks like? The concept of gross.
I was thinking about some of my favorite Cindy Crawford moments and decided to compile them here. I don’t have some of the big iconic moments, like the Pepsi ad or that fine film Fair Game, but I do have lots of fun clips and pictures, starting with this promo for her show House of Style on MTV.
I still don’t think the “How is Hurley still fat?” mystery has been adequately solved.
I have no real commentary on this, it’s just a nice summary of the 14 biggest mysteries still unsolved on Lost. Some of my favorites include:
the four-toed statue!
Does the island have healing powers?!?!
Who IS this guy? (popular theories that it's Walt all grown up are just racist)
That’s not a butler….THIS is a butler.
Just because I’ve been getting so many confused emails about this, I thought I’d sort it out for you.
This is Paul Hogan, celebrity butler (yeah, that’s a term).
He was on that terrible idea of a show Joe Millionaire as a butler, and is now hosting the new tv show Groomed, which turns lazy bum type guys into, you know, gentlemen. I squeed with joy when I first saw the blurb about Groomed in an entertainment newsletter, because I thought that Crocodile Fucking Dundee was hosting a show helping schlubs get sophisticated. But I dove in with my relentless research skills, and sadly, though they are both Austrailian, this Paul Hogan is not that Paul Hogan.
sigh.
