My new pet peeve?
When cool non-American dudes that I admire start hanging out with idiot women. I lose respect all the way around, and I just want to scream “GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM!”
The gorgeous and Irish Cillian Murphy with the lame and non-Irish Sienna Miller.
The Mighty Boosh's Noel Fielding with the mighty insane Courtney Love
For no reason at all, it’s Madonna naked.
These pictures, sent to me by my lovely friend/hairstylist/kinda-employee Caroline, are of Madonna in the early 80s, and they are gorgeous. You forget that the iconic conceptualization of Madonna that we know of today was once a pretty young dancer that needed money and had an attitude. The pics are very NSFW and hirsuite, so be aware of that before you jump.
I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
After hearing today that Keanu Reeves is “in talks” to star in the live-action version of Cowboy Bebop, I feel bittersweet: I mean, no one is better than this man at playing science fiction dudes devoid of soul or emotion, and yet still, he seems like such a sad joke playing omniscient or overly noble robots/aliens. Johnny Mnemonic? The Matrix series? Constantine? The Day the Earth Stood Still?
You know, given their similar career tracks, I am hoping that Keanu Reeves becomes the next Leslie Nielsen.
Videos of my life
And now, I present to you the angriest hip-hop song ever written about nothing. Literally. It’s the Seinfeld of hip-hop songs. Look, here are the lyrics:
I’ve got the power hey yeah heh
I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
Gettin’ kinda heavyIt’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic (repeat x4)
Like the crack of the whip I snap attack
Front to back in this thing called rap
Dig it like a shovel rhyme devil
On a heavenly level
Bang the bass turn up the treble
Radical mind day and night all the time
Seven to fourteen wise divine
Maniac brainiac winning the game
I’m the lyrical Jesse JamesOh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah
I’ve got the power
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh yeah
Gettin’ kinda heavy
I’ve got the powerIt’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda heavy (repeat x4)
I’ve got the power
He’s gonna break my heart
He’s gonna break my heart of hearts
He’s gonna break my heart
He’s gonna break my heart of hearts
He’s got the power oh-oh-oh-oh (repeat whole stanza x2)It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic (repeat x4)
It’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ it’s gettin’ kinda hectic (repeat x4)
Quality I possess something I’m fresh
When my voice goes through the rest
Of the microphone that I am holdin’
Copywritten lyrics so they can’t be stolen
If they are snap
Don’t need the police to try to save them
Your voice will seize so please stay off my back
Or I will attack and you don’t want thatI’ve got the power
He’s gonna break my heart
He’s gonna break my heart of hearts
He’s gonna break my heart
He’s gonna break my heart of hearts
He’s got the power oh-oh-oh-oh (repeat whole stanza x2)I’ve got the power
That’s right, ladies and gents, it’s Snap with “The Power”
Video Games. Hilarity. Nostalgia. January.
It’s that time of the month again! This Saturday night at midnight, come on down to the UCB Theater to see Kumail and Thomas argue about Fallout 3, make fun of powerups in old games, and hang out with guests Timmy Williams and Sam Brown from The Whitest Kids U Know!
It’s hilarious fun, and it’s only $5!
Saturday night at midnight!
Game Bros. LIVE! at the UCB!
Go here to join the Facebook group, and go here to reserve seats. They’re flying off the shelves like…hotcakes?
Did you know British Elle employs a magician?
Need proof? Here’s Courtney Love on a regular day.
Jump to see Courtney in the January issue of British Elle.
Ask Gynomite Presents: Rules of Arguing
Ok boys and girls, as promised months ago, I now present you with a few handy rules for arguing that should help you the next time you get in a spat with your partner, a fight with your friends, or an issue at work. It’s time to start thinking of arguing as a tool, nothing more, nothing less. Some people use tools to build houses, some people use tools to rip out their own hair or hammer other people’s skulls, and some people are so afraid to use tools that their house just falls apart around them. The tool isn’t evil. It’s all about intent.
*Please, I must reiterate that even though I think these are excellent standards and techniques to use, it does not mean that I use them all the time, or that it’s even not healthy to not use these on occasion. Because sometimes, fuck everything, you’re just going to yell. These are just good guidelines. Gynomite would in no way ever try to snow you by telling you that she’s always great at this stuff in her personal life.*
If you were one of my teenage clients I would completely destroy you and your shifting of responsibility. But as your the president, I’ll just blog.
And now, because I don’t think anyone should have missed this, here are some highlights from Bush’s final news conference, which he gave on Monday. More “highlights” after the jump, and click here to read the entire transcript.
- I have often said that history will look back and determine that which could have been done better, or, you know, mistakes I made. Clearly putting a “Mission Accomplished” on a aircraft carrier was a mistake. It sent the wrong message. We were trying to say something differently, but nevertheless, it conveyed a different message. Obviously, some of my rhetoric has been a mistake.
