1. Pam Anderson showing up somewhere looking gorgeous and not all used up.
2. Victoria Beckham in loose-fitting jeans and flip flops.
3. MTV playing music videos again.
On Monday the network starts “AMTV,” a six-hour block for music and advertising experimentation. From 3 to 9 a.m. Monday through Thursday, it will show music videos, news, interviews and performances, harking back to the network’s origins as a 24-hour home for music videos.
All we need now is for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to admit their marriage is a sham, or for Madonna to reveal her true cyborg form, or Paris Hilton shunning life in the spotlight to study birds in Africa, or for Lindsay Lohan to actually act in a movie. Then the pop culture hell would rain down on all of us. Because we are all sinners, every last one of us.