Thanks, Men’s Health, for this terrifying glimpse into the male psyche

March 30, 2009 at 8:46 am (pop culture) (, , , , , , , , )

I guess I should thank Jezebel for reading Men’s  Health so that I don’t have to, because today, I got the privelege of reading “Five Tests for Sexual Attraction“, where Men’s Health gives men five surefire ways to test and see if a woman wants to have sex with you.

Check  it.

Test 1: The Time Probe

Forget your silly pickup line. Ask her for the time instead. If she answers with anything other than the time, she’s interested. The only exception is “I don’t know”–but only if she’s not wearing a watch.

Test 2: The Eye-Contact Probe

While you’re talking with her, sustain eye contact for a fraction of a second longer than what feels natural. If she holds your eye, she’s interested. If she looks away, she’s not.

Test 3: The Wink Probe

If she makes a joke or someone else does something dumb, give her a wink and share the moment. If she relaxes or laughs, she’s interested.

Test 4: The Body-Check Probe

Make eye contact, then quickly (in less than a second) pass your eyes down and up her body, then look back into her eyes. If she smiles when your eyes meet again, she’s interested.

Test 5: The Compliment Probe

Pay her the kind of compliment a potential lover would make — it should be something personal but not overtly sexual. Also avoid the type of thing a friend might say; for instance, opt for “You have really great style” rather than “You have a really nice briefcase.” If she smiles or thanks you warmly, she’s interested. If she Maces you, she’s not.

So remember ladies, if a man asks you for the time, looks you in the eye for an inappropriate amount of time, winks at you, checks you out like a piece of meat, or says something random about your clothes, get ready for sex.  Because it’s coming. And thank god men realize that we don’t know how to use our words.

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1 Comment

  1. scott lefaive said,

    according to the fifth point, if the woman doesn’t mace you, you’re in. looks like i’ll be having sex a lot more often in the future.

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