Ask Gynomite!
Hey, I’ve gotten all my friends to weigh in on this, and now I want to see what you think. I’m a guy, and I recently started dating this girl I really like. She’s cute, sweet, smart, and fun to be around. We have a great time hanging out, we like the same things, great great great. I kinda think I’m falling for her, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way about anyone. We even have really good sex…. with one problem. She sweats during sex a lot. From places I didn’t think it was possible to sweat, like behind her knees, or her neck, or her back. I sound like such an asshole saying this, but it makes it weird during sex when I reach out to touch her or kiss her and it’s just like, wet. Am I being an asshole?
Short answer: yes. Jump for the long answer.
There are many wonderful things about dating a new person. Figuring out their likes and dislikes, seeing new adorable things about them every day, getting your first inside joke with them, eating brunch and swooning at how adorable they look all sleepy-eyed, etc and so on. But for all the good stuff that you get to discover and claim as your own discovery because they belong to you, you have to always remember that this is a whole person.
This girl that you really like is a person who does stupid, shitty things sometimes. She takes poops. She has thrown up before. She has had really gross looking zits. She has cried to manipulate someone, maybe.
Love is messy, relationships are messy, and what I think people are missing these days is that they’re SUPPOSED to be messy. This doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to fight all the time, but it does mean that no one you date is going to be perfect. If you’re waiting around for someone that is always perfectly sweat free or odor free or zit free, you will be lonely. Forever. I think it might behoove you to accept your new girl’s overactive sebaceous glands, as she is probably sweetly overlooking some of your less desirable qualities as well.
It’s my gut instinct, sir, to wonder if you are kinda nervous about how much you like this girl, and are using her sweaty sex as an excuse to not get too close. A bit Seinfeldian, perhaps. But I’m making quite a leap. It just strikes me as slightly selfish to complain that the sweet lovin’ you’re giving this girl is so effing hot that she’s sweating from it. Really, you should be bragging. It’s a wonderful problem to have.
So bottom line is, if you haven’t dumped her for it, you’re not being an asshole. More than being about the actual sweating, this may be a cry from the part of you that wants to protect you from getting too involved with someone. If that’s the case, acknowledge it and move on. Sex isn’t pristine, sex is supposed to kinda messy and crazy and full of bodily fluids. Revel in that sweat!
And if it’s just really really really a lot of sweat, just hook up a fan and aim it at the bed.
mysweetmusings said,
May 20, 2009 at 9:27 am
Agree…get a fan and have towels around. Sex is always messy.