Ask Gynomite!
I had a question that I have been thinking about a lot lately and probably a lot of other people have had the same question too. Is there any good way to make a smooth transition to being friends with an ex? AND how do you handle a situation in which you have become good friends with your ex’s friends?
Well, there are ways to make this transition, but none of them are super smooth. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. It’s all about the passage of time tempered by the intensity of the relationship/breakup.
Now with more Gmail!
Hi all! I’ve set up an email address for Ask Gynomite to make things a bit more convenient/further erode my own personality and make it so that Gynomite gets stronger and stronger every day until she takes over completely MWAH HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….
Ahem. Sorry about that.
So from now on, if you want to Ask Gynomite, do it at askgynomite@gmail.com, and you’ll get such answer gems as:
Hey Gynomite, this guy I’m dating is always really busy (he’s in a band, works two jobs) and mostly comes to my house after midnight. Sometimes we watch movies, but mostly we just have sex, go to sleep, and then hang out for 20 minutes the next morning. He’s really sweet but I’m starting to think he’s not really serious about dating me.
He’s not. He’s not really serious about dating you. And you are not dating. If you are happy with having a booty call that eats your cereal, then fine, but if you want an actual boyfriend, you have to get this guy out of your bed.
This is only awesome if you’re an America’s Next Top Model fan…
Caridee English, winner of cycle 7 of ANTM, recently sublet a Brooklyn apartment for two weeks. Apparently, things did not go well. After the jump is the email that the original renter of the apartment sent to Caridee, and then posted on craigslist because she was pissed off. Read on, it’s nice and squirmy.
Disclaimer: I have no problems with Caridee and would delight in this no matter what ANTM contestant it came from.
Ask Gynomite!
Dear Gynomite,
I’m 26 and fairly recently divorced. When’s a good time to tell the guys I am talking to/dating without sounding weird or scaring them off?
Ahh, the new fun problems that go along with starter marriages. This is a good question. I try to think of info like this as “discussion nugget”, as telling someone this about yourself will likely result in a discussion. And discussion nuggets have a hierarchy.
In America, this is just done on craigslist.
Have you ever heard of tart cards? I hadn’t, until very recently. Tart cards are business cards placed in phone booths to advertise the services of prostitutes. They are most common in London but can be found elsewhere in the United Kingdom. They are typically placed in phone booths by professional “carders”, who tour the phone booths, replacing cards which have been removed by the telephone companies’ cleaners.
Wallpaper (via Transientink) decided that they needed to class this process up, so they asked some well known designers to make their own tart cards using only typeface. And given my love of punctuation, I couldn’t not post it. Jump to see the best ones, and thank Neary for the heads up, as usual.
The most important lesson I’ve ever learned in dating.
As this has recently come up for a good friend of mine very recently, I thought I would foist upon you the most important thing I ever learned in the world of dating…. with the caveat, of course, that I never listened to anyone when they tried to tell me this. So if you don’t listen now, I’ll totally understand.
When a guy tells you that you should stay away from him because he’s a “bad guy” who is only going to hurt you, LISTEN TO HIM.
The Relevance of Empty Space (in your summer)
I have fashioned myself as a bit of a Summer Activities Director among my friends, constantly suggesting ridiculous things to do that I hope are fun. Sometimes I miss, but yesterday, we all won! We headed over to The Putting Lot, which is a “miniature golf course that examines the relevance of empty space in the city”.
Basically, it is literally a vacant lot where nine artists have put together some amazingly cool and yet maybe not so physics-tested miniature golf holes. I was afraid, given their “catchphrase”, that it would be overly pretentious and stuffy, but instead it was just straight up mini golf, with other groups, kids, and everyone having fun.
It was $5 to play or $3 if, after you played, you made some “seed bombs”. Seed bombs are little balls made of seeds and dirt and fertilizer, and the idea is that the balls can be thrown in empty vacant space to create flowers where there were none. Guerrilla gardening, they call it.
….
Ok, if that was too much for you, I understand, but jump to see our pictures from it, and seriously, if you live off the L, you must try this. It was a blast.
Ask Gynomite!
This may seem like a stupid problem to have, but I started dating this guy about a sex weeks ago and he hasn’t changed his Facebook status to “in a relationship”. He doesn’t even have to say that he’s dating me, but we’re sleeping together and we’re not dating anyone else and I don’t see what the big deal is. I haven’t changed my status yet but am tempted to do it to see what he’ll do. I’ve mentioned it once and he just kinda laughed about it and changed the subject. I feel embarrassed about bringing it up again. UGGGGGGGGGH
Ohhh princess, I feel your pain. I do. But before anything else, let me please plead with you- do not change your relationship status before discussing it with the man you’re dating. That’s some old school 50s “the lady is with me” bullshit, and men hate it just as much as women.
Ok, to continue….what I hate the most about social networking sites is all the new fun “discussions” that they create for burgeoning couples. It used to be a slow gradual process of people seeing you with the same person over and over and someone asking “hey, is that your boyfriend?” and you casually saying yes, so that over time everyone just kinda figures it out. Now, couples have to synchronize their feelings for each other, debut their couplehood, and submit themselves to awkward wall posts.
In North Carolina…
….have already found a tiny frog and fed the neighborhood dog!
Love always,
Gynomite
