Ask Gynomite!
Gynomite is a licensed therapist in 2 1/2 states and she would love to take a crack at your emotional dilemmas. Write her at askgynomite@gmail.com- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on getting over a breakup.
My boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago, and I just can’t seem to get over him. We dated for like, 3 months, which I know doesn’t seem like a long time, but I really really liked him, and I just can’t work up the effort to go on normally. I’m not wearing makeup, I’m not going out, I just go to work, go home, and sulk. How do I get over this guy?
This is a fantastic question. Since you asked just about how to get over someone and now how to get someone back, I’m only going to address the work you need to do with yourself to feel like yourself again.
Yogi
Pal and raconteur TJ Miller has just been cast as the lead in the Yogi Bear movie! He will play Ranger Jones, alongside Dan Aykroyd as the voice of Yogi, Justin Timberlake as the voice of Booboo, and Anna Ferris as the love interest.
After the jump, you can and should watch TJ’s hilarious audition tape that he made with Jordan Vogt Roberts, filmmaker extraordinaire. But first, ponder this: is it Yogi Bear or Yogi THE Bear? We’ve been debating this for weeks.
Apocalypse Foods
I have a list of foods I keep in case my death is imminent, because at that point I will consume those foods with such excitement and guilt-free intensity that it may stop the flow of time. Here are some of those foods.
(I realize this may look similar to This Is Why You’re Fat, and I’m ok with that. This is my dream disgusting food list.)
Whopper
Fun (or creepy) fact of the day
Are you ready to cope with the fact that Richard “Tricky Dick” Nixon was once hot? I don’t think you are.
Thanks Neary. Thanks a lot.
You’ll laugh, you’ll buy…
I get annoyed with advertising more often than not, but here are two commercials that weirdly make me laugh and I thought I would share them.
They are for beef jerky and cable, respectively, and if you find yourself craving either one of those things after watching these, then the system works.
America’s Love Affair with Technology
I saw these pics this morning courtesy of Ian McDowell, and they document the hell out of America’s initial coy “flirting with danger” fascination with technology. Like most things we’re fascinated with as a people, we figured the best way to get comfortable with something is to pose beautiful women with it. “It might savage our women…. or it might be awesome!” So after the jump, witness women with robots. It’s way sexier than you think it will be.
Ask a Comedian
It’s time for the next installment of the mind-bendingly popular series “Ask a Comedian” where I ask a few comedians I know the same random question.
Today we have hot stuff comedian Kumail Nanjiani, subject of a recent NY Times profile, who you can watch on Letterman tonight (DO IT!). Best of all, he is married to me. The question (again):
There’s a doll being made of you- What tiny little accessories would it come with, and/or what would it say when you pull the string? (Yep, there’s a string.)
Jump to see his answer!!
Sit back and CHILL
In 1999, a little movie was made called Chill Factor. Even as a silly naive 20 year old, I remember thinking it was the dumbest premise of a movie I’d ever heard, so I thought I’d make you all remember it too.
Here’s Wikipedia’s dead-eyed synopsis of the plot:
Two mismatched men, Arlo (Cuba Gooding Jr,) an Ice Cream truck driver, and Tim (Skeet Ulrich), a short order cook, are forced to team up, and get on each others nerves, when through a series of circumstances they find themselves in possession of a top-secret bio-warfare weapon. The weapon detonates with enormous force when heated to only 50 degrees.
I feel like they literally just put a handful of words into a bag and pulled them out, Mad Libs style.
What happens when a ___zoo keeper___ and a ___customer service representative___ happen upon a ___fiery dinosaur___ that will attack when it is too full of ____sunshine___?
Jump to see the trailer if you haven’t eaten yet today.
Superheroes
When I was in grad school I worked at the school’s The Writing Center to earn a meager living. It was an English Dept-sponsored place where undergrads and grads could come with their papers and get help editing and improving them from the likes of myself and others.
It was a fun job- I got to read papers on a huge mess of topics, meet a lot of people, and in the down time, I got to know my fellow editors, who were mostly getting their MFAs in creative writing.
I’ve kept up with a lot of them, and one guy, Ezra, became a medic in the Army after getting his MFA, and is over in Iraq now. The New Yorker did a thing on him in honor of Veteran’s Day, and here’s a snippet:
Plemons had been one of the speakers at the service. I had been struck by his remarks. He had said that soldiers had “dual lives” and had to hide one of their identities from their loved ones, “like superheroes.” He had concluded, “We cannot be swayed by feelings that could corrupt us: feelings of guilt, anger, and revenge. In the end, grief shall not take us, and we shall remember.”
Go read it now. It helped me remember that we’re all over there. Our dads, our poets, our kids, and our friends.
