Gynomite!

KFC- 1 Vegans- 1

April 17, 2010 at 8:07 am (food) (double down, kfc, vegan)

If you’re a vegan and disappointed that you can’t try the glory that is KFC’s Double Down, worry no more.  Vegansaurus has come up with a Vegan Double Down that you can make at home!

All you need is

• Gardein Lightly Seasoned Chick’n Scallopini
• Lightlife Smart Bacon
• Follow Your Heart Vegenaise
• Energ-G Egg Replacer
• Earth Balance Natural Shortening
• Follow Your Heart Monterey Jack

No wait, there’s more.  For the “Colonel Sauce”, you need

• 4 Tbsp Vegenaise
• 1 tsp mustard
• 1 tsp agave nectar
• 1 tsp turmeric

But then you’ll have your….hold up, there’s more?  To make the KFC special recipe taste, just grab

• 1 Tbsp sage
• 1 tsp ginger root
• 1 Tbsp rosemary
• 1 Tbsp oregano
• 1 tsp marjoram
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 1 tsp chili powder or cayenne
• 1½ tsp thyme
• 2 Tbsp garlic salt, or mix 1 Tbsp salt + 1 Tbsp garlic granules
• 2 Tbsp onion salt, or mix 1 Tbsp salt + 1 Tbsp onion granules
• 3 Tbsp dried parsley
• 3 Tbsp brown sugar
• 2 Tbsp powdered vegetable bullion from Rapunzel, or any vegan “chicken-flavored” bullion.
• 1 pack of McCormick Thick & Zesty Spaghetti Sauce Mix (available at Safeway), or 1 packet of any vegan tomato powdered instant soup.

Ok, fine, I’ll get all that, which will cost me like $80, but then I’ll get to..

• 3 Tbsp Ener-G egg replacer
• 4 Tbsp water
• 1 Tbsp canola oil
• ½ cup unsweetened, plain soy milk
• 1 cup all-purpose flour

GOOD LORD!  When will it end? Ok, do I need anymore ingredients?  No?  Good.  Now I can get down to making this incredibly delicious sandwich.  What’s that, Vegansaurus?  What’s your closing argument for why making this Vegan Double Down is crazy worth it?

You will eat about half of this before realizing what a mistake it’s been.