Ladies, are you prepared for a disaster?
I’m talking to the ladies out there who live with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/partner, and I want to talk to you about what you’d do in an emergency. Since feeling my first earthquake here in LA a few days ago I’ve been frantically Googling disaster preparedness, but it got me thinking about what happens when you go through a personal emergency. Have you ever thought about what would happen if, for whatever reason, you had to leave the comfy cohabitation you’ve built with another human being. Could you survive? How would you survive?
I don’t mean to be cynical here- I don’t think that all relationships end. That’s not what this is about. But the sad truth is that when relationships do end, women are often the ones who are screwed. It can be as simple as no longer being in love with someone and deciding to leave, or losing your job, or catching your partner cheating on you, or something as complicated as realizing slowly that you’re in an abusive relationship and feeling trapped by how enmeshed your lives are. Regardless of your situation, here are some questions that every woman should have answers to, just in case she finds she needs to exit her life stage left.
- Do you have access to your own money?
- Do you have a friend that you could call in the middle of the night crying? A friend that would pick you up at any hour?
- Are your parents supportive of you and your decisions?
- Do you have at least one friend with a spare room you could stay with, even if that person isn’t the person you could call in the middle of the night crying?
- Who do your pets belong to, ultimately?
- Do you know how to pay bills in your relationship? Are there any bills in your name?
- What items in your apartment are decidedly yours?
- Do you make enough money to support yourself? Do you know how much money you would need per month to support yourself?
- If you don’t currently support yourself fully, what skills do you have that could be used to get a job, even if it’s a shitty one, right away?
As relationships develop over time, things always do get more enmeshed and that’s not a bad thing. But it’s always good to feel like you’re with someone because you want to be with them, not just because you’re financially and fundamentally dependent on them.