In her former life, Emily “Gynomite” Gordon was a couples and family therapist licensed in 2 1/2 states. In this life, she’s a freelance fighter of your emotional woes with Ask Gynomite. Write her at firstname.lastname@example.org- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on cheating and responsibility.
I am worried about my friend. Her boyfriend of over four years, the guy she thought she would marry, broke up with her in April. Within a week or two, she had a new boyfriend. I thought, Ok, not so healthy but she needs to rebound. Around Halloween, that guy broke up with her. Within days she had another “boyfriend.” (I never meet this guy and he sounded sketchy to me, like he only asked her out b/c she said she wouldn’t have sex outside a relationship.) At some point that relationship ended and she had yet another boyfriend, which I realized because of Facebook. Now, they can’t have known each other long than a month, I would say and now she is looking for apartments with him.
I am really worried about it. I kind of let it go when I thought she was just rebounding. I saw her behavior as unhealthy but I thought, She needs validation and I can’t make that change. But moving in with a guy — really, a stranger — so soon worries me. She had said before that she wouldn’t want to live with another boyfriend because she thought it made it difficult for her and her long-term boyfriend to break up and that it may have contributed to the relationship dragging. Also, she said it took away some of the romance and she would rather wait until she was engaged next time.
I’ve been fairly supportive of her decisions till now and have checked my judgment although some of other friends have said something to her. I feel like I shouldn’t keep quiet on this, but it’s also not my life. I don’t want to alienate my friend. I don’t think my opinion will change her actions. But I don’t think it’s right to keep quiet, either, when I am legitimately concerned. What should I do?
Watching a friend make poor decisions that aren’t life threatening is truly miserable, because there is nothing you can do. There’s nothing illegal or unsafe about making poor decisions in relationships, although god knows it should be illegal. I feel your pain.
Shameless sexed up advertising alert from Copyranter!
Five things alcohol does to your body that might surprise you, like brain shrinkage!
Remember all those obnoxious AOL free trial CD-ROMs you’d get in the mail in the late 90s/early 00s? Here’s an update on them.
Here are ten careers with high rates of depression. I have been three of them-how many have you been?
Top ten thinky moments of comedy this year- from SplitSider! Where is Eastbound and Down?
Check out this infographic to find out what every state in the US is best at! For Alaska, it’s suicide.
The woman whose photograph was the basis of the Rosie the Riveter poster died on December 26th. Her name was Geraldine Doyle, she only worked in that factory for two weeks back in the day, and then she went on to work in a soda fountain and bookstore. She had no idea she was Rosie the Riveter until late in her life.
DC’s character Nightrunner, a French Muslim Batman, makes people angry. But he looks awesome!
Here’s a list of signs that you are friends with someone who is toxic. Great list, and New Years is a great time to clear out the flotsam and jetsam from your life.
This is a great little story about a guy who used to work in a porn store in Greensboro, NC, and I’ll bet it’s the same one I used to go to, and the one where I convinced a guy friend of mine to go up to the counter and ask for the beastiality porn because “it’s totally legal now they just have to keep it in the back”.
This is Katy Perry without makeup, as tweeted by her husband before being taken down quickly.
The BBC has recently yanked a program (programme) from the air because it “might affect the tenderness of the children and the mentality of the mass people of the country”, which, if this happened in America, would only cause bootleg versions of the program to be in the highest of demand. Hell, that’s probably happening in England too.
And I gotta say, the show sounds like an interesting idea: In Bangladesh, the prisons recruit convicted murderers to serve as their executioners. And these aren’t people who flip switches or depress the needle- these are hangmen.
Patton just wrote a brilliant essay in Wired about the availability of information and “geek” culture, and I couldn’t agree with it more. Here’s a taste:
The problem with the Internet, however, is that it lets anyone become otaku [a Japanese term meaning a person who has obssesive, minute interests] about anything instantly. In the ’80s, you couldn’t get up to speed on an entire genre in a weekend. You had to wait, month to month, for the issues of Watchmen to come out. We couldn’t BitTorrent the latest John Woo film or digitally download an entire decade’s worth of grunge or hip hop. Hell, there were a few weeks during the spring of 1991 when we couldn’t tell whether Nirvana or Tad would be the next band to break big. Imagine the terror!
I try to explain to people why it makes me so angry that there are “angry kid” lifestyle stores now, where kids can pick up an entire look and the soundtrack to boot and change their entire personalities in a single day- my friends and I had to go to a creepy leather store for Manic Panic hairdye, to Goodwill for weird pants and funny t-shirts, to a scummy weekly flea market for band shirts (if we weren’t ordering them BY MAIL from a catalog), to Halloween stores for accessories, and to fucking record stores for CDs. If they didn’t have the CD we wanted, we had to know what to ask for, and we had to special order it. What it did for us was make us way cooler. We worked for the looks we wanted, and if we couldn’t access what we wanted, we used our creativity and improvised. Sure, we looked like idiots, but everybody had their own spin on things, and everyone actually looked like an individual, because how many places will you find busted tennis shoes inscribed with Alice in Chains lyrics?
Go read Patton’s opus now.
Crash Blossoms is a term originally coined on Language Log, and the term refers to headlines that are poorly written. Here, the original Crash Blossom will help explain how they work.
“Violinist Linked to JAL Crash Blossoms”
The story was about a guy who’s father died in a car accident who, years later, found success as a violinist, but the headline makes absolutely no sense, and boom, next thing you know it was showing up in New York Magazine.
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Inmate Mistakenly Released Third This Year
Suspect in Mumbai Attacks a Thorn in U.S.- India Ties
Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over
Gay Kiss South Africans in Car Crash
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Go check the two links above to read tons and tons more. Fun if you’re trapped in the snow or just refusing to leave your home!
We were so so happy a few weeks ago to let Chris Hardwick take over our weekly comedy show so that he could present his favorite comics to his Nerdist audience. He recorded the live show on 12/15 and it went up last night! Listen and enjoy- I get a nice shout out in the beginning!