Poor choice.
Listen, I’m not going to hate on Khloe Kardashian, or any member of the Kardashian clan. Not only is it too easy, but… well, basically, it’s just too easy to hate on people for being opportunists.
Khloe has especially struggled, because she is, like myself and a couple of my good female friends, taller than a lot of ladies out there. And because she’s taller, she’s just a larger human being. Her weight can go up, her weight can go down, but no matter what, when you see her next to a woman who is 5’4″, she’s going to look like a giant. There’s nothing she can do about it.
So my point is, if you’re Khloe, and you’re asked to do a photo spread for a magazine, and you know your looks are already pretty edgy by nature of you not being tiny, why would you agree to do this?
And maybe I’m part of the problem, and maybe I need to accept women for wanting to be styled edgily even if they already look edgy, and I guess I’m old fashioned, but the older I get, the more I realize that I just want to look like I’m comfortably lovely- like I’m not torturing myself to fit into some random look that’s been imposed on me. A woman like Khloe needs long gorgeous waves, a figure-hugging dress, and good eye makeup. Jump for more of what YRB got wrong and right with Ms. Khloe.
Herrrmp, am I going to have to see Green Hornet now?
I’m usually a sucker for superhero movies, no matter how ridiculous they are. I mean, I walked out of Daredevil, but that was years ago. I don’t mind going to see big empty-headed flashy movies in the theaters. But I was struck with how little I wanted to see Green Hornet, despite the presence of Seth Rogan and all the big dumb flashy things action movies have that I normally adore. So I’d settled on not seeing it… but then I read this post at Fantastic Fangirls.
(Spoilers ahead)
Beauty trumps racism.
For the first time ever, Louis Vuitton has tapped an Asian model to be the face of a campaign. Godfrey Gao, a Taiwanese-Canadian actor, landed the big job easily, about six months after Victoria’s Secret announced that they would be putting an Asian model in their runway show for the first time ever.
Uhhhh, I don’t have any social commentary on this. I just wanted to show a picture of Godfrey.
Meow.
Isn’t open-mindedness gorgeous?
Gynomite’s Reading Room!
This is a great listing of badass victory scenes in movies that have unseen terrible consequences- like the end of Fight Club when they bring down all the buildings and stand there, hand in hand, while people most likely were killed by debris, and at the very least, found themselves out of work.
The Monkeys You Ordered- a blog where people try and make the most literal captions to New Yorker cartoons. Here’s my favorite so far.
Our dog is fucking huge.
Five emotions invented by the Internet, at Thought Catalog. Can we add one more? The one where you get jealous that someone came up with an idea that you wish you’d posted about?
Even though it’s all bullshit, here’s a fun explanation of Black Swan from the perspective of someone who believes in conspiracies, the Illuminati, and Monarch programming. Yeah, don’t question it, just go read this. It’s interesting. (The programming begins!)
This was helpful to me- here are 18 disturbing things we now know courtesy of Wikileaks.
If you wanna watch the segment from the Today show about Huffington Post Divorce, you can watch it here, and if you want to see my weird little profile pic for HuffPo, just pause it right around 2:42. Ahem. Not that I’m self-promoting…
And just for Kumail, the most specific Tumblr I’ve ever seen- Fox Mulder’s Wristwatch.
Damn you, brilliant ladies of Hairpin! You are too genius! The Baby-sitters Club: Where are they now? I especially love that Mallory married Ben Hobart!!
Huge spoiler alert, but if you know how the books end, you’ll want to read this- JK Rowling has approved a big change to the ending of book seven for the next Harry Potter movie!
Videos of My Life
Jellyfish- Baby’s Coming Back
I was such a sucker for their cartoony psychadelic looks and odd mannerisms I associated with San Francisco for no reason at all. Plus I’ve always loved drummers that sing.
100% Foolproof Tips to Prevent Rape and Sexual Assault
From Lipstick Feminist, a nice big piece of food for thought. Please pass it around.
ARCHERS OF LOAF REUNION?!?!?!
This past weekend in Carrboro, NC, at Cat’s Cradle, The Archers of Loaf played a full and surprise set. There are apparently no plans for a full reunion yet, but this gives me so much hope. And it reminds me how fucking cool NC can be.
Check out this 2011 (!!!!) version of Web in Front, and go to Pitchfork for more info!
An Open Letter to the Child I Saw Driving a Car a Few Days Ago.
Dear Little Guy,
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you driving on the highway a week ago. The car caught my eye first, flashing in my rearview mirror, a tribute to every car Barbie and/or Ken had ever driven in my bedroom as a kid. It was a silvery Corvette so 80s-looking that I almost heard Whitesnake when I saw it, and it sparkled under the California sun the way that only matte-painted boxy 80s cars can. It looked like a toy, and having the top removed only furthered that impression. The car was hilarious.
I thought to myself “I have to see who is driving this car”, and I slowed down a bit, half expecting to see Tawny Kittain or Christie Brinkley at the wheel. As if this Corvette, rather than the Delorean, was our point of reference for a time traveling machine, and had saved these ladies from their futures of divorce, more divorce, and drug abuse.
That was not what I saw.
When I slowed down to catch the creature piloting this ridiculous parody of an 80s car, what I saw was you: an African American boy who looked to be 10, and could not have been a day over 12. You were a child. Not a young-looking young adult, but an actual child. You looked over at me, seemed to notice my utter surprise, and smiled a lovely gleeful grin in return. There was no Whitesnake playing- no music of any kind, actually. Doesn’t a Corvette convertible require loud music?
I became worried about you. Children shouldn’t be driving cars at all, certainly shouldn’t be driving by themselves, absolutely should not be driving on LA highways, and should NEVER be driving 80s Corvettes. I wondered if you borrowed the car from your Dad to take a joy ride and started tailing you, wondering what to do. Over the next ten minutes, I watched you drive at an entirely safe speed. I watched you check your blind spots, signal appropriately, and shift lanes when necessary, but not too often. I watched you drive better than most adults do. Whatever pleasure you were getting out of driving the Corvette, it was not coming from driving it recklessly.
After a few miles, you signaled and pulled onto a long exit ramp, as you had apparently reached your destination. I waved goodbye from my spot 100 yards behind you, and watched you leave my life forever.
I don’t know where you’re going kid, but I do know you got there in style.
