No one can live on protein and isolation alone.

February 8, 2012 at 4:28 pm (food, Uncategorized)

“Oh I’ll just watch you eat, and have something without carbs when I get home.”

“I don’t want to come out tonight- I’ll just eat and drink a bunch if I do.”

These are two quotes I’ve heard from friends recently- male friends, at that. And thus, they became two people I didn’t get to hang out with because they were dieting like motherfuckers. We’ve gotta figure this out, because dieting should never get in the way of your social life.

I’ve been there too- when you’re in a zone of being “good”, you just want to hold your breath, avoid temptation, and enjoy that weird squelchy feeling of satisfaction you get when you have gotten under XX points on Weight Watchers/scanned all your barcodes into Losing It/avoided carbs all day. Being out in public, you risk things that are bad for you creeping into your mouth, and sometimes it’s easier just to stay home and hide.

I get it, the struggle to not be a slothy fatass your whole life is ongoing, and it finds us all. Some of us start dieting when we’re 12, some of us start when we’re 30 and realize we can’t eat whole pizzas anymore. But we’re all essentially in the same boat, and I want it to be a social boat. So here are a few tips for those of you/us who are trying to keep our girlish figures while still having a lovely social life.

  • Don’t drink alcohol every night. I hang out with comedians exclusively, and they are lucky/unlucky enough to have their jobs happen in bars. Try hanging out one night without drinking, and see if you still get anything out of it. If you do, maybe decide that one social night a week, you won’t drink, just because. If you can’t hang out without drinking, you’ve got bigger fish to fry than your waistline.
  • Order healthy food, and a lot of it. Eat the shit out of salad, chicken skewers, the carrots that come with chicken wings- anything you can to keep you from reaching for the actual chicken wings.
  • Convince a friend to order something unhealthy that you really want, then eat a very small amount of that item. It’s taken me years, but I’ve gotten to the point that I can handle eating 3 french fries, which I did last night, off of Kyle’s plate. I felt satisfied, both with the food and my restraint.
  • Give yourself permission, one meal a week, to eat whatever the fuck you want. It’s incredibly necessary for any diet, and I think it’s required in a lot of carb-free diets.
  • Come up with social things to do that don’t revolve around food and alcohol. Sure, hiking blah blah we’re in LA, but also, there’s movies, going window shopping at cheesy malls, getting coffee, going to dog parks, and millions of other things to do.
  • Make sure your life is full. Full enough so that you have time to preplan your meals, but not so full that you have time to obsess over your diet.
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4 Comments

  1. Part Time House Wife said,

    I truly appreciate this!

  2. GiGi Eats Celebrities said,

    AHHH HA HA HA HA! Oh I eat the SHIT out of salmon and salad! LOL.

  3. didjaeat said,

    im a comic and spend an inordinate amount of time in bars & clubs. you’re right, it is weird not drinking but you kinda get used to it. i just drink water and feel so much better when i get up the next day (and hydrated!). plus I’m not flirting with a possible dui on the way home. once a week ill have a few beers at my favorite mic and thats that. I’ve saved money and lost 7 pounds so far :)

  4. powkang said,

    i’ve been on a diet (dukan) for the past 6 or so weeks, and its been very successful so far (10lbs the first week, 2 lbs each week since). i’ve found that most people are supportive and impressed that i’m able to hang out with a bunch of drunk people stuffing their faces and i can still stick with a diet soda or seltzer, and eat within my diet’s parameters. granted, i haven’t been going out quite as much, because (let’s face it) sometimes hanging out with a bunch of drunk people while sober is just not fun.

    on the other side of the scenario, though, you shouldn’t show pity for your friends who are dieting while you’re hanging out with them. if they’re hanging out with you at a meal, don’t apologize profusely for ordering whatever you want while they stick with their plans. if i weren’t strong enough to watch people eat cheeseburgers, i wouldn’t go out to the burger place with them. i’d suggest someplace else. the other day, i met a friend at whole foods for a quick dinner, and she got a slice of broccoli pizza and a chocolate bar and then spent a lot of our time together justifying her own decision not to get a salad and apologizing for eating it in front of me. and then gave me the sad eyes when i said i was just looking for a grilled chicken breast or piece of fish and a small carton of cottage cheese. the whole thing was tiresome.

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