5 Dating Mistakes We’ve All Made
For once, I’m reposting a Lemondrop link that is not my own! Erin Donnelly wrote a great piece on the top five dating mistakes we all make, and I just think everyone should read it. See if these sound familiar, and then click it up!
- Adopting a loser mentality
- Picking fights
- Dating for the sake of dating
- Having bad manners (<– a great one I never considered)
- Being a downer
Ask Gynomite!
Gynomite is a licensed therapist in 2 1/2 states and she would love to take a crack at your emotional dilemmas. Write her at askgynomite@gmail.com- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on being someone’s parent/lover.
My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year, and I love her. We get along great, but I feel like I’m kinda running her life at this point. She never remembers to pay her bills, or take lunch with her, or do laundry, and I end up doing all this stuff for her. Not paying for her bills, just literally opening her mail and getting stuff organized. And she sometimes gets too drunk when we’re out together and I have to get her home safe. We don’t live together but I think she wants to move in together soon. I love her but I don’t think this is fair to me. What do I do?
Oh my, you are in a pickle. In my previous life in North Carolina, I worked with mainly children and their parents, and I became pretty well-versed in parenting skills. So let me impart some of them onto you now, because you have effectively become this girl’s daddy.
How rom-coms ruined dating
This piece, adapted from a workshop I’ve done, is up over at Lemondrop! Boom!
Boyfriend jobs.
The lovely ladies over at Lemondrop have compiled their list of the best and worst professions for a man to have… if he’s your man. For the most part, I agree. Click to get into it.
This guy is too busy for you.
Gynomite’s Emotional Assignment of the Day
I often hear people refer to their past relationships, and the people they were in relationships with, using words like “psycho”, and it always makes me wonder how time has colored their impressions of those relationships. Because really, if you keep getting in relationships with psychos/assholes/cheaters, aren’t you really just shitty at picking mates? Is it that the person was actually an asshole, or did the relationship just sour? So today’s emotional assignment is to go back through your adult romantic relationships and figure out something you’ve learned from each of them.
Ask Gynomite!
Gynomite is a licensed therapist in 2 1/2 states and she would love to take a crack at your emotional dilemmas. Write her at askgynomite@gmail.com- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on knowing when to stay and when to go in a relationship.
This is kind of a huge question, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 4 years and I just don’t think it’s working out. I care about him, but I’m just so tired of not getting along and I’m bored and I want to start over. Nothing huge is going on, it’s just …..a slow decline of our relationship. How do you know when you should be working on a relationship versus when it’s time to just get out?
Ask Gynomite!
Gynomite is a licensed therapist in 2 1/2 states and she would love to take a crack at your emotional dilemmas. Write her at askgynomite@gmail.com- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on that creepy little feeling you get when you think there’s something wrong in your relationship.
I’ve been in a good long term relationship with my guy for just over a year. Lately something between us just seems off. He’s distant, he’s irritable, and we don’t have any fun anymore. I’ve asked him what’s going on and he says everything is fine. I think that’s a lie. What can I do?
I like to think of relationships between people as actual things that are separate from each of the two people involved. So there’s you, there’s your boyfriend, and there’s your relationship. It’s a thing you two have created. So the first thing to do when you get a feeling that something is just wrong is to see if you can isolate who is actually affected.
Ask Gynomite!
I had a question that I have been thinking about a lot lately and probably a lot of other people have had the same question too. Is there any good way to make a smooth transition to being friends with an ex? AND how do you handle a situation in which you have become good friends with your ex’s friends?
Well, there are ways to make this transition, but none of them are super smooth. But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. It’s all about the passage of time tempered by the intensity of the relationship/breakup.
Now with more Gmail!
Hi all! I’ve set up an email address for Ask Gynomite to make things a bit more convenient/further erode my own personality and make it so that Gynomite gets stronger and stronger every day until she takes over completely MWAH HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….
Ahem. Sorry about that.
So from now on, if you want to Ask Gynomite, do it at askgynomite@gmail.com, and you’ll get such answer gems as:
Hey Gynomite, this guy I’m dating is always really busy (he’s in a band, works two jobs) and mostly comes to my house after midnight. Sometimes we watch movies, but mostly we just have sex, go to sleep, and then hang out for 20 minutes the next morning. He’s really sweet but I’m starting to think he’s not really serious about dating me.
He’s not. He’s not really serious about dating you. And you are not dating. If you are happy with having a booty call that eats your cereal, then fine, but if you want an actual boyfriend, you have to get this guy out of your bed.
Ask Gynomite!
Dear Gynomite,
I’m 26 and fairly recently divorced. When’s a good time to tell the guys I am talking to/dating without sounding weird or scaring them off?
Ahh, the new fun problems that go along with starter marriages. This is a good question. I try to think of info like this as “discussion nugget”, as telling someone this about yourself will likely result in a discussion. And discussion nuggets have a hierarchy.
