Ask Gynomite, kinda!
Lauren Lapkus and Lauren Ashley Smith run this awesome site called Fix My Facebook where they address Facebook dilemmas. I thought this was pretty brilliant, so I decided to slide them one of my more Facebooky questions, and they slid me one of their more Gynomitey questions. Kinda like Freaky Friday, but instead with blogs.
I work in radio, and while I’m not really “big” enough for a work profile, a few listeners have added my personal profile. No big whoop, so I thought, it’s not like I have anything to hide. Just might have to cut back on the expletives.
Unfortunately, there’s one listener who is way too talkative on my status updates (and way too political for my tastes). It’s gotten to the point where my friends are starting to bait him into getting into arguments. Last night, I acknowledged an on-air screw-up I made, and when some friends started joshin’ me, he comes in like he’s riding on a white horse to protect me! I had to tell him to back off.
I don’t want to block the guy; he’s a hardcore listener. But I’m honestly afraid he’s gonna piss someone off.
Ask Gynomite!
Gynomite is a licensed therapist in 2 1/2 states and would love to take a crack at your emotional dilemmas. Write her at askgynomite@gmail.com- all emails stay confidential. Today, Gynomite takes on cyberstalking.
About three months ago I broke up with the guy I’d been dating for just under a year. Things are fine now, we’re cordial with each other, and we’ve both dated other people since then. Last week I went to his Facebook profile once and since then, I’m hooked. I check it and refresh it constantly, and there’s lots of stuff to obsess over on it. I thought I was over him, but I cannot stop checking his profile. Does this mean I’m not over him?
Something new to feel rejected about!
A woman’s recent Facebook status has been purchased so that it may be optioned as a movie.
What was the status?
Pomeranian raided Chinese takeout bag overnight, opened and ate a fortune cookie. Her fortune: You have strong spiritual powers, and you should develop them.
The movie would be about Charlotte, the Pomeranian, who uses her newfound superpowers to save her owner’s home after said owner loses her job and is forced to contemplate moving in with her folks.
What have your statuses done for you?
Rach, hon, I can see everything!
This amazing website collects all the best/worst things about Facebook and deposits them conveniently in your lap. Like this:
Go to Lamebook to see more more more!!!
And now, six weird Facebook groups
Please don’t join any of these.
George Orwell would have had a field day with Facebook, had he even grasped the concept of social networking sites at that point in history.
Not only is Facebook making us all a little too comfortable with the idea that privacy is for squares, as we’re expected to update everyone on how we are and who we’re friends with and what movie tickets we buy, but now look what they’ve done:
they’re allowed to use anything you put on Facebook whenever and however they want, even if you cancel your account.
...and using all your tagged drunk photos.
You’re sacrificing a bit more than that…
If I were in an 80s sports movie, competing against Burger King for marketing ideas and money, I would have to shake my head with bemusement and disgust while starting a slow clap for them. Because as much as they gross me out, their ad campaigns get my attention. The latest disgusting thing they’ve made is called The Whopper Sacrifice, and it is a Facebook application that, if downloaded, will provide you with a certificate for a free Whopper if you are willing to delete 10 people from your friends list to earn the free Whopper.
Get it?
Whopper Sacrifice!
How shitty would you feel if you were defriended from someone for a fucking Whopper? Or really, 1/10th of a Whopper? Can’t you just scrounge in your couch for some change? I know we’re in wintry economic times, but come on people!
As of posting this, 69,221 friends had been sacrificed for Whoppers. Which makes no sense because that’s not a multiple of 10.
Why you should never argue over Facebook
Here are two great examples of Facebook arguments, collected over at Passive Aggressive Notes, which is an amazing site. Their section on Facebook alone is worth it. Jump!
I’m So Totally, Digitally Close to You
I just read this absolutely fantastic article in the Times about the “live feed” phenomena that Facebook introduced in 2006, and that Twitter has since picked up on and run with. Essentially, it displays minute by minute updates of what is going on with you, provided that you actually update everyone on what you’re doing. Here, read some of it!
