See, because boomerangs can’t pick up things
This made me laugh so hard this morning- it’s from a Cracked feature called “If Video Games Were Realistic“.
Enjoy this look at a realistic Zelda game-
Everybody loves doughnuts…
Xbox Live is completely amazing. Not only do they release and actually promote the best new independent video games, but they arrange fun events like “Call of Duty All Nighters” and “Family Game Night”. We’ve been playing ‘Splosion Man for the last couple of weeks, and it’s one of the most amazing games I’ve ever played. I’m not a game reviewer, but it’s seriously clever and original and….here’s the story:
Fools they were, to tread where knowledge should stay forbidden. For what emerged was not a man—it was Splosion Man™. “And all who saw him were ’sploded, for he was the fire and they were but meat.” Able to ’splode himself at will, Splosion Man launches his way through levels, an uncontainable force.
Mario: The New International Language
This is from India’s Got Talent, which is a pretty fun show that I watch at Kumail’s parents’ house and understand most of despite the fact that it’s all in Hindi.
You’re welcome!
Eden: The Digital Rendering of Willem Dafoe
Antichrist is a movie that premiered at Cannes this year starring Willem Dafoe. I have not seen this movie, but it’s apparently about a couple who, after their toddler dies, retreats to a cabin in the country. Creepiness ensues. Wikipedia, in its infinite impartial wisdom, describes some of its “controversial” scenes thusly:
She hits His testicles with a wooden plank so hard that it is implied they are crushed. While He is unconscious, she masturbates him until he ejaculates blood. She then drills a hole through his shin to bolt him onto a grindstone. In a later scene, She cuts off her own clitoris with a pair of rusty scissors.
Well, just like anyone else, when I read that passage, I think VIDEO GAME. And sure enough, one is being made.
You know what time it is…..
It’s Game Bros. time!!! Tonight, 8pm at Crash Mansion on Bowery, the boys will be doing their thing at a new venue and a new time. This show is being presented by Comedy Central and will feature Jason Sudeikis from SNL, talking shop and attempting to beat his previous Marble Madness record. So come on down!
Video Games. Hilarity. Nostalgia. January.
It’s that time of the month again! This Saturday night at midnight, come on down to the UCB Theater to see Kumail and Thomas argue about Fallout 3, make fun of powerups in old games, and hang out with guests Timmy Williams and Sam Brown from The Whitest Kids U Know!
It’s hilarious fun, and it’s only $5!
Saturday night at midnight!
Game Bros. LIVE! at the UCB!
Go here to join the Facebook group, and go here to reserve seats. They’re flying off the shelves like…hotcakes?
Game Bros Live!!!!
Guess what tomorrow is?!?!?!
Another Game Bros Live! at the UCB Theater!
This Saturday night at midnight, come on down to the year-end edition of Game Bros. Live!, fully stocked with ridiculous “best of” lists, a look at the new Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe game, games that involved musical instruments long before Guitar Hero, and way more! Special guest Ed Larson of MURDERFIST!!
$5, but holla at me and we’ll get you on the list!
The evolution of water
I have a thing about both water and fire in video games, how fun it is to watch how they’ve gotten more and more realistic-looking through my lifetime. In fact, I tried to convince a room full of people that a really funny sketch would be a bunch of animators sitting around trying to figure out how to make fire look more like fire in cartoons. Anyone on board with me? Anyone? No? Ok, fine.
PC Games Hardware would think it was funny. They did a great pictoral of the evolution of water in video games. Check out some of the highlights after the jump, then go to their site to see the whole thing! Clearly something amazing happened between 1996 and 1998!
(Most gracious thanks to PC Games Hardware, but especially, to Kristy!
Me Time, Anytime.
I saw this today at the Gamestop near my house in East Williamsburg. Nice try Nintendo, but my advice to you is to not produce too many “Designer DS Carrying Cases”. Girls that are into video games probably won’t care about such things, and girls that aren’t into video games a) won’t be in Gamestop, and b) won’t be swayed by a free cheap designer carrying case. If you really want to get more girl money, make every movie ever in Lego form. Lego Ghostbusters, Lego Regarding Henry, Lego Royal Tennenbaums, Lego Sex and the City.
That’s all we’re looking for.
By the way, the games displayed under this ad were Brain Age 2 and some Japanese game about cooking. And while I’m on the subject, after the jump is Liv Tyler’s commercial for Brain Age 2, which is adorable.
